The Change (not necessarily menopausal)

This is a new addition to my blog. I want to implement small or big acts of courage that my friends and readers have done to keep themselves alive. This first one is about my friend and neighbor, Kelly Ozley. She is a woman I met through my work, and a woman for whom I have a lot of admiration. She is my age and has taken on the challenge of having a family as a single parent and adopted a baby girl from Moldova, Russia. Kelly is very prim and proper and her home, in the past, has always been perfect. When she told me she was going to adopt a baby I thought oh man good luck with that you Southern Princess. Here is her story written in her own words:


I am a hard working professional saleswoman. I work my ass off most days, but generally enjoy it. At 45 it was a little late to start a family, but I decided it was time, and that I would adopt. I was in a relationship with a tall handsome man who was not cutting the mustard, couldn't give me the family I so wanted, and somehow I got the courage to kick his ass out.


Let me just say I was as prepared as I could be to adopt, and still had no idea what I was getting myself into. I did my research (because I am about as anal as they come). This thing (the adoption)took off like Big Brown at the Kentucky Derby. Within 7 months Landon, my adopted daughter, was home and I was a nutbag.

I had started my preparations late because I thought I had 15 months. I started my trek to various baby stores for required items, starting with the crib. I gave the store manager my money and began to lift my crib to take it home. The manager said "oh no, that will be 10 weeks at least; we have to order it". What the hell – I have a PO here. This was probably the first of many attempts on my part to control a completely uncontrollable situation.

My referral came labor day weekend 2007. I was not prepared (do you see a pattern here?). I had her (Landon) on schedule for March 2008. She did not get that memo – already a fast tracker. First trip to Moldova to meet her was October 2007. One week of crappy food - they put mayonnaise (a disgusting condiment in my opinion, but of course I have issues with basically all white condiments – more on my personal issues at another time) on everything. Yuk! My first experience out of the U.S., and definitely first experience peeing directly on the floor. I am a Southern girl for God’s sake. The second trip was November 25, 2007 (the day after Thanksgiving), and I was bringing home my new daughter. My dad went with me. He was so excited I thought he was going to pee in his pants. We got home on November 29, and nothing since has been the same. How did formula get on my boob? I am not nursing. How did so much chaos come in to my otherwise pristine home? Why are there baby boogers on my nice sweater?


What I know for sure is that I was really not prepared, and that this turned my life upside down. That’s a good thing. I think its good to shake things up. Now I can say for sure I wear a lot more baseball caps and that my nails are not always perfect. Guess what. It doesn’t matter. Landon is happy. I am happy and life is way more full. She has given me an excuse to be silly. I dance and sing, and not well I might add and guess what – it doesn’t matter. We laugh and make funny noises – it’s the best. Probably my favorite sound in the world now is her laughter. Do I have it all together – absolutely NOT. Do I care – well sometimes. Was it worth it – a thousand times over. I am happy to share more of my experience with anyone. In fact you should probably catch me before I go again, and get her a brother. I think Landon has made a huge difference in my life. Also frankly listening to my gut (call it God or whatever works for you). You always know the direction to go if you slow down long enough to listen to yourself (and that is a message to me as much as anyone else). I think when we honor that internal call to act – it only takes us closer to who we really are (or want to be).