How Old ARE You?

I have to admit that I'm tired of being ANY age at all. I think that after a certain age you no longer have an age, and you can do whatever the hell you want. A lot of times I hear my mom on my shoulder saying things like: "don't you think you're a little too old to be wearing that?" or "After this age a woman should no longer have long hair." and "My word cover up your arms and legs those things shouldn't be seen anymore."

Well I'm here to say I am ageless. If anyone asks me how old I am anymore I'm going to say I'm ageless. I can't abide to the rules of what I can and cannot wear, present myself in an appropriate manner based on society's definition. I'm 50, ride a scooter, wear sleeveless tops and dresses, skirts, lots of color, clothes that aren't lose (because I think I look fat in lose clothing), I don't wear makeup that often anymore, I wear high heels, etc. All because that is part of who I am! I don't wear the stuff I do or ride a scooter because I want to appear younger, or older, or whatever but I do it because I want to; plane and simple. I don't give a rat's ass when I take my motorcycle helmet off and people are shocked to see a granny underneath. I don't care! I don't care if I wear a dress that is cool, comfy, and possibly viewed as provocative because I like it, I like the way it looks on me, and I want to be who I am, and express myself accordingly through my clothing etc.

My motto: If You Don't Like What You See Look Away!

Seriously!

I'm sure you've all seen those ads for lengthening eyelashes stuff, and if you haven't; well you don't watch much TV, and good for you. TV is my vice of choice, and I LOVE watching it. It takes my mind off of getting old.

Anyway they show a woman who's attractive, and she's bitching about not having enough lashes after 40. Wha, wha, what? Are you kidding me? That's what she's worried about? She's not worried about starvation in the US, her financial prognosis for when she retires, the failing US school system, the US political system being bought and sold to the highest bidder, her parents who are not looking as healthy as they could and may need to come and live with her, her liver going bad because she drank too much in college? No, she's worried about not having enough lashes.

Now, if you re-watch the the link I've put in the first line; listen to all the side effects you could have. NowTHOSE are some real worries. The color of your Iris can turn brown, and will most likely be permanent (good bye big blues), you can have eye pressure problems, redness, and itchy eyes etc. Yup, I'll do me some of that eyelash stuff. I'll look perpetually tired, feel like I have allergies all the time but by damn I'll have long full lashes, and all the money I could have put into a good cause be damned!

It Is All In the Mind

This is what I think I look like as I'm out and about. And THEN....

 

 
I look in the mirror and THIS is what I THINK I see! Man, getting older isn't pleasant on the mind. I can only wish for Alzheimer's!

"Depends"...SEXY?!

Oh my. The advertising community has finally done it. They've crossed over the line as to what is sexy.

I ask you can Depends underwear actually BE sexy? Seriously. What on earth is this? They're advertising that Depends comes in colors now. Who gives a crap (no pun intended)? If you're going to pee yourself or otherwise who cares what color you do it in? Can you really feel sexier if you're sitting in your own pee if the diaper you have on is a pretty color?

I guess what got me is this woman, who is of a certain age, and attractive; is walking down a sidewalk, she has on a conservative light gray suit on, her hair is chin length (the appropriate length for women of a certain age), there is a breeze blowing her hair back in such a way that you are reminded of Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, and she (the woman of a certain age) flings it back with a wave of her head; like it could EVER be in her face. Then the camera follows her down the sidewalk from behind. YUCK!!!!!! The viewer knowing she could have pee is simply grossed out! Pee is NOT sexy....I repeat Pee is NOT sexy; color or not, breeze in hair etc. Pee is NOT sexy!

I tried to embed the commercial into this blog but they wouldn't let me so here's the image I got instead....pretty huh (really pretty colors too)?

Existential Corner or Something to Think About

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, surely I can't look that old. Then read on:

My name is Alice Smith and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I notices his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haiared boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to hve been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School. 'Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang,' HE gleamed with pride.

'When did you graduate?' I asked. He answered, 'in 1975. Why do you ask?'

'You were in my class!', I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked....."WHAT DID YOU TEACH ???"